Yesterday, on the way to dinner, Ben asked me if it feels different being married.
It's the number one question you get after you get hitched.
The answer is not really.
We both agree that we absolutely wanted to get married, but the marriage didn't mean we treat each other differently or have different expectations for each other -- it was a celebration and joining of our love!
The only difference is a slight sense of validation, officialness, and legality to our union.
I always had comfort, love, support, and happiness with Ben... and everyday it grows, before and after the big day.
So, as I anxiously wait for my wedding pictures to be uploaded, touched up, and available for viewing (not for another few weeks, ugh!) -- I've been reflecting on the most awesome party I planned for, worried about, stressed over, and enjoyed every second of.
Here are the big notes that need to be said.
The ugly:
- ordered my wedding dress before really knowing what type of wedding I wanted.
sure, I knew it was going to be outside, park or barn setting -- but I didn't know how it was going to feel. Was it going to be classic or vintage, modern or traditional, etc. First I would like to say I did attempt to go to an actual bridal shop and try on dresses. I did, I really tried not to love every single one. But the truth is, at about $1000 budget, most of them were really nice, clean, bright, and show stopping. I didn't fall in love with any of them, but I also went alone - I'm in Seattle, family in Pennsylvania. It didn't feel right, it felt, for me, like I was just falling into the crowd - buying a standard wedding dress.
So within a week of my one bridal shop experience, I found this (LEFT) online and on sale ($295!) at Nordstrom and this (RIGHT) through one of ideeli.com wedding sales (also on sale & under $300). So immediately I felt really good about not spending a ton of money on one dress.
You might be able to tell they are complete opposites. Long story short, the LEFT one was gorgeous and designer, but made zero sense in my DIY - country wedding. my advice, take your time, establish your wedding, then establish your wardrobe. Plus, 9 months with one dress is a lot of time to look at other, prettier dresses and develop an unnecessary hatred of your dress.
The bad:
- Day Of Coordinator
One of the perks of my venue, was that it came with a day of coordinator. Awesome! right? The major downfall was that I'm a type A, super awesome task do-er. By the time my coordinator started getting in touch with me was January. I had already booked all my vendors (DJ booked, Invitations/ Programs contacted, Caterer done, Florist was in work).
I was also a few thousand miles away. And my caterer was incredibly easy to work with and handled everything from the bartenders, linens, to the dessert.
So ground rules for what the coordinator could do for me were never established (I did ask, got a "whatever you need" response.) --- So, because I could (and thought I could) do everything on my own, I did, and got it done. There were never check-in emails I expected or any suggestions thrown my way (except to cut the pie after our first dance).
She kind of just kept a record of everything, mostly just everything from our two in-person meetings. She WAS a great contact person for my vendors the day-of. But that's pretty much it. She volunteered to blow up my 30" balloons for the entrance, but then forgot about them... and when reminded she came back with small balloons. (I still don't know where my 5 $5 balloons ended up at).
Point of the story: get to know your coordinator, they can be life savers or people who are just doing a job.
The good:
- being able to say NO to all the wedding stuff popping up on every blog.
I remember the moment in May or June, when I finally saw the whole wedding of my dreams. It came together in a moment, every decoration made sense, every need was established, and the whole flow of the wedding was visualized. That was the best day of the planning process. I hope everyone has that moment. When you're three or so months out and you know you can't pile your plate any higher - that decisions have to be made - that budgets have to be held true - that you don't need personalized favors, fresh petals on the aisle, or a $100 guest book. My advice, and every bride will say this, the day is about you and your FH's love, make it personal, make it true to yourself, and learn to say no.
I'll be posting more pictures on how the wedding came together throughout the month, stay tuned!
