Baby Bear - Week 16

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN ON FEBRUARY 27th, 2014

On Feb 24th, we went in for another 4 week ultrasound. We also figured that the tech would be able to find out the gender for us - and our excitement over this possible new information was all-consuming. It's so fun to reach these little milestones and each week is such a blessing. My heart swells with love when Ben talks about our baby and how awesome s/he is. 

I'm not a fan of getting ultrasounds, or going to the doctor really. I have an unusual anatomy that I don't plan on explaining to you yet, but it's why I need to get ultrasounds so often. Seeing our baby is a nice perk to the process, so it's not all terrible and annoying. 

My emotions have been really... emotional this week. I feel sort of bi-polar in the way that things affect me so much. The tipping point happened after the ultrasound appointment, and it really took 3 days to shake this feeling.

I mentioned before that I plan on delivering at a Birth Center, which is a few blocks from the hospital. I like the midwives and I'm sure the appointments will get more exciting as the weeks progress. Much to the dislike of my worried mind, there's just not much to tell a 16 week pregnant woman besides to take vitamins. One of the big perks of seeing a midwife, in my mind, is the hands-off approach - like when the midwife told me I didn't have to weigh myself if I didn't want to. I like that.

I've gone to the hospital twice for the ultrasounds and each time I've just gotten an off hand, sort of snarky comment about midwives. Example: I asked the doctor at the end of the ultrasound visit if there were any sort of exercise limitations I should be aware of (since I work out very reguarly). The doctor told me basically the same stuff the midwives did, with even less guidelines. She finished her thought with "I hope that's what your midwife is telling you too." Just kinda threw me, because up until that point I thought she was my doctor and I could ask her questions. It was a reminder that no, she's not my doctor and she has no vested interest in my prenatal care unless they start finding that the baby is going to come premature. 

And the final straw? As we were checking out and scheduling our next appt we were told that we would need to come back in two weeks (19 weeks) for a vaginal ultrasound to make sure the cervix is not shortening and then again in 4 weeks (21 weeks) for the usual baby ultrasound. My stomach dropped. I know I have a weird anatomy that will probably cause a shorter pregnancy, but really - at 19 weeks I have to start coming so frequently??  And why didn't the doctor mention this to us at our end of visit recap?? All of a sudden I just felt terrible and over committed. I lost trust in "my doctor" and wanted to just ignore her and the hospital.

Now that I'm a few days out I still don't like the increased visits, but I realize I can go see another doctor and hopefully have a better relationship with them. I also see my midwife the day before my next ultrasound at 19 weeks so I can get her opinion and comfort.

And besides, this week we found out we were having a baby girl!!

too many choices

We finally settled on a stroller for baby this past weekend. After literally hours looking at strollers online, where they all look the same, reviews kind of help sort through the brands what would fall apart right away vs brands that have some durability and functionality, we went to babies r us to touch and feel the strollers in real life. We settled on Chicco's three wheeler, and couldn't be more excited - it's light, easy to fold, easy to install the car seat, and super cute.

Okay, major decision one out of the way.

Then we started thinking about the glider/ rocker/ recliner we want to have. And again - so. many. choices. and way expensive. Ben, bless his heart, decided to take up some researching on his own - seeing what was recommended and what works out the best - and it led him down a rabbit hole of DD, DS, FTF, FTM acronyms that he was really proud to have learned. But didn't make any clear cut decision on which type is best. Again, it's all the same IMO. 

So, for sake of argument, because Pottery Barn Kids, Land of Nod, and Babies R Us are all expensive, let's just look at target's options. They seem to be more reasonably price and have a ton of options. 


The Reclining and Glider Option 1 ($600)

I love the idea of having the option to recline (I can see Ben loving this) along with gliding, which I think would be more soothing during nap and nursing times.


The Reclining and Glider Option 2 ($450-600) 

Same as above, maybe cheaper because of the ridiculous color schemes? Maybe I'm just picky about extreme contrast piping, not my cup of tea.


The "Chair and a half" Rocker, Option 3 ($400)

This is so appealing - and makes me think of all the good times when baby bear becomes toddler bear to kid bear and she wants to sit next to me while we read books. How sweet does that sound. swoon. Also, I think Yogi would thoroughly enjoy joining me on the rocker while I nurse and sing lullabies. 


The Basic Rocker, Option 4 ($400)

The standard, can't go wrong with this affordable, upholstered rocker. & I like the side wings, I feel like my head could rest easily on it when I'm closing my eyes, counting my patience... 


Thoughts? 
regrets, wishes, any obvious choices to make?

Baby Bear - week 11

 ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JAN 17, 2014

Last night we heard baby bear's heartbeat. I expected it to be emotional, but I was just utterly speechless with a goofy smile on my face and tears just welling and falling. I laid on the bed at the birth center, and the student midwife, under the lead midwife's supervision, pressed and scanned the doppler and speaker into my lower abdomen. At first it was just static and my heartbeat, and the longer the scanning took, the more I anticipated what baby's heart beat sounded like and wanted to hear it so badly. And then there it was. and it sounded amazing. It sounded so real and alive and healthy. I nervously laughed, smiled, cried, and looked at Ben, both speechless. 

What an amazing gift we have been given. 

The past few weeks have been weird. I'm way thicker in my midsection, and very thankful for winter - sweaters, layers. bulk. I'm hoping to hold out another 4 weeks before I tell my boss and coworkers. I've been getting mild headaches, overall tiredness, and just plain not-feeling-like-myself-ness. I'm hoping in the next week or two the energy comes back and I can join real-life again. Second trimester is supposed to be glorious, right!!

I'm already getting a little freaked with saving more and more money so I can comfortably take time off work after the baby is born. Very aware of the rug, crib, and rocker we need to buy. Aware of the basement we still need to organize. There's still my closet to organize so we can move my dresser into the baby's room. The dresser that still needs the huge crack in the wood repaired before baby clothes arrive! 

Growing News!

We're excited to announce that our little family will be welcoming a baby girl this summer!

Over the moon excited.
We've wanted to be parents for so long and feel so blessed that I've been able to carry our baby. The nursery is painted, the gender revealed, and a few baby bump stories have been written in draft, ready to be published.


Right now I'm clocking in at 18ish weeks. Almost half way! A pretty uneventful pregnancy by all accounts- typical 1st trimester tiredness, sometimes moody, no cravings out of the ordinary.

Looking forward to sharing our story with you!

happy marriage / happy kid

I've read a lot of places that when couples have children, they are less happy, less fulfilled, less in love, etc etc. What a downer!

I believe, and am deeply attached to the notion that when I married Ben I was marrying forever. That no matter what happens, I am going to be there for him, and him there for me. It's a growing support network, that changes needs - and we adapt and grow with it. And while there are moments of challenge, there are greater, and more moments of joy and love. It would be a big bummer if we "lost" that when we decide to have children.

To speak honestly, I remember a lot more fighting than hugging between my parents growing up. That's not to say they weren't in love - there was just a lot of tension and choas that got in the way. I learned about love by the way my parents loved me, not so much by watching them love each other.

I was a happy enough child, I played sports, had friends, and got good grades - never excelling in either department (I'd like to think I was just above Average). I was angry, annoyed, and sad during my teens. I mostly blamed it on my middle-child syndrome. But what if (isn't that a dangerous phrase!) there was more love and happy when I was growing up?  Would I have been happier, more confident, excelled more? Or maybe I would have been a flake or not determined enough to achieve what I have?

Either way, I've thought endlessly as to what kind of parent I want to be -- The kind of parent that loves my spouse and fills the house with care, respect, and good conversation (all three things I learned from my parents).

Motherhood

Kris Atomic Illustration

currently reading:

  Mothers on Motherhood

and dreaming of a big family full of hugs, kisses, and snuggles.

Baby bucket list (revisting)

Find the original bucket post here

Since last August, we have definitely made better financial choices and developed healthy habits too. 

IOU Letterpress - $6

 We have been rigorously planning our dinner menu and making weekly grocery lists - this not only dramatically reduced our eating out bill, but it lets me better control what I'm eating (and giving us leftovers to avoid the cafeteria food at work)!! I also have been keeping up with my running or walking goals, as well as going to the gym with my trainer. 

Financially, we just couldn't get it together in the last 6 months. There were always things to buy, things to do, and credit cards to use for it. Then came THIS BOOK. And it put some reality to our financial excuses. (seriously, read this book.)

And with some failed attempts of paying off our credit card debt (and costly vet appts that certainly didn't help!) - We realized we were fighting a losing battle if we kept on using our credit cards for purchases. 

Starting March 1st - We stopped using our credit cards. 

18 days in and still no new charges.

We made a poster with the debt amounts on both credit cards, and a descending $1k incremental list that we will victoriously cross off until we get it down to $0. We are going to start with the smaller debt amounts to pay off first, then tackle our larger and final credit card account. It has been a constant challenge not to give in to old habits. But, again, it is so important for us to be debt free (besides the house and student loans) before we bring a baby into the world. ... Which is something we are really looking forward to do. 

How do you handle debt? 
It's been really rewarding so far this month to make some big payoffs towards our debt. I finally feel like we are on the right track to financial freedom!

well, isn't this the cutest

little wooden toys for kids
by karl zahn, found at Areaware

new additions

Probably to combat the desire to have kids right now, we got cats :)

...and trying to introduce Yogi bear to them has been a very stressful journey so far. The cats and yogi are so curious about each other, we just can seem to get yogi to stay calm enough to get a good introduction. I'm confident though, with enough patience, smell exchange, and kitten confidence we can get there sooner than later!

Meet Marco (8 mo. curious and cautious) and Ponce (13 wks, no tail!, no eye! no problem!)

 

The kittens have been roaming around upstairs, playing constantly, and eating very well!  We use two metal gates to keep everyone separated. I'm super impressed with how well the gate has stood up to an 80lb, excited dog. Well recommended.

Baby Bucket List

DeerHead

Remember this post?

Ben and I... okay well maybe just me, pride myself on this idea that I am a highly responsible, super street smart kind of adult.  I know what it means to save money, I've always kept a budget of where things are going, and if something costs more than $150, I have serious buyers guilt about it, so I don't do it (alone).

We have been fortunate enough to have traveled and visited friends and family in different states, so when we were thinking about a baby bucket list, nothing really jumped out - YES we would love to go to Europe - Spain - Germany - but we don't have the vacation days or money to do it. And we already make trips to Yakima valley (heaven, really) multiple times a year to get some quality ben-dana-wine time.

We decided on two very important (and time consuming) things to accomplish before Baby could be a reality.

1) pay off our debt (Credit Cards strictly, and create a budget we can both agree on to pay off our house & student loans, and build up our savings account)

2) get Dana to a healthy weight (It's so important to me to create a healthy body for a baby to grow in)

When we accomplish these things, I think both Ben and I will be able to rest easier knowing that we have created a financially secure place surrounded by a healthy lifestyle for our kids.

kid thoughts

Bear Print via Animal Print Shop

You know that moment when you're a kid and all you want in the world is to be an adult so badly. You crave the responsibilities, the control, the money, and the ensuing adult life choices. 

And when you tell an adult about your big rush to get to their spot, they tell you to settle down and take your time, you're only a kid once. 

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I rush through life, it's not my most redeeming quality, but I'm impatient. I've set goals for myself since I was a little kid. I only lived in the "next step" phase and never in the "present." This also attributed to my successes - kick ass internships across the United States, winning scholarships, and many leadership positions. All these were stepping stones to eventually achieving adulthood. 

I recently turned 26. 

When did that happen?? I was just a youthful 20-something. Now my bones are weakening, my skin is wrinkling, I enjoy red wines, got hitched, and just bought a house. 

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Since before we got engaged, Ben and I have been excited to start a family (you can breathe, I'm not pregnant). We both love kids, big families, and cute little things. And there have been serious times when we say "yea, let's do this!" However, we just don't feel like it's the right time for us, which is really frustrating because we can't pinpoint anything except that we still feel like college kids.

A few weeks I stumbled onto this cute blog: WhereMyHeartResides and her great idea for a baby bucket list. So part of our college kid mentality isn't that we think we're immature, we just don't think we're smart or cultured enough to raise a kid to be the absolute perfect kid in the entire world.  And that's why we're going to do a baby bucket list... things to do, see, & experience before a little one arrives and makes us parents forever. 

Suggestions?

Geez theknot.com, a little pushy, eh?

It's Been 6 Months Since Your Wedding...

 And theknot.com thinks I need to make babies.   

STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, INTERNET.