Baby Bear - Week 16

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN ON FEBRUARY 27th, 2014

On Feb 24th, we went in for another 4 week ultrasound. We also figured that the tech would be able to find out the gender for us - and our excitement over this possible new information was all-consuming. It's so fun to reach these little milestones and each week is such a blessing. My heart swells with love when Ben talks about our baby and how awesome s/he is. 

I'm not a fan of getting ultrasounds, or going to the doctor really. I have an unusual anatomy that I don't plan on explaining to you yet, but it's why I need to get ultrasounds so often. Seeing our baby is a nice perk to the process, so it's not all terrible and annoying. 

My emotions have been really... emotional this week. I feel sort of bi-polar in the way that things affect me so much. The tipping point happened after the ultrasound appointment, and it really took 3 days to shake this feeling.

I mentioned before that I plan on delivering at a Birth Center, which is a few blocks from the hospital. I like the midwives and I'm sure the appointments will get more exciting as the weeks progress. Much to the dislike of my worried mind, there's just not much to tell a 16 week pregnant woman besides to take vitamins. One of the big perks of seeing a midwife, in my mind, is the hands-off approach - like when the midwife told me I didn't have to weigh myself if I didn't want to. I like that.

I've gone to the hospital twice for the ultrasounds and each time I've just gotten an off hand, sort of snarky comment about midwives. Example: I asked the doctor at the end of the ultrasound visit if there were any sort of exercise limitations I should be aware of (since I work out very reguarly). The doctor told me basically the same stuff the midwives did, with even less guidelines. She finished her thought with "I hope that's what your midwife is telling you too." Just kinda threw me, because up until that point I thought she was my doctor and I could ask her questions. It was a reminder that no, she's not my doctor and she has no vested interest in my prenatal care unless they start finding that the baby is going to come premature. 

And the final straw? As we were checking out and scheduling our next appt we were told that we would need to come back in two weeks (19 weeks) for a vaginal ultrasound to make sure the cervix is not shortening and then again in 4 weeks (21 weeks) for the usual baby ultrasound. My stomach dropped. I know I have a weird anatomy that will probably cause a shorter pregnancy, but really - at 19 weeks I have to start coming so frequently??  And why didn't the doctor mention this to us at our end of visit recap?? All of a sudden I just felt terrible and over committed. I lost trust in "my doctor" and wanted to just ignore her and the hospital.

Now that I'm a few days out I still don't like the increased visits, but I realize I can go see another doctor and hopefully have a better relationship with them. I also see my midwife the day before my next ultrasound at 19 weeks so I can get her opinion and comfort.

And besides, this week we found out we were having a baby girl!!