I believe, and am deeply attached to the notion that when I married Ben I was marrying forever. That no matter what happens, I am going to be there for him, and him there for me. It's a growing support network, that changes needs - and we adapt and grow with it. And while there are moments of challenge, there are greater, and more moments of joy and love. It would be a big bummer if we "lost" that when we decide to have children.
To speak honestly, I remember a lot more fighting than hugging between my parents growing up. That's not to say they weren't in love - there was just a lot of tension and choas that got in the way. I learned about love by the way my parents loved me, not so much by watching them love each other.
I was a happy enough child, I played sports, had friends, and got good grades - never excelling in either department (I'd like to think I was just above Average). I was angry, annoyed, and sad during my teens. I mostly blamed it on my middle-child syndrome. But what if (isn't that a dangerous phrase!) there was more love and happy when I was growing up? Would I have been happier, more confident, excelled more? Or maybe I would have been a flake or not determined enough to achieve what I have?
Either way, I've thought endlessly as to what kind of parent I want to be -- The kind of parent that loves my spouse and fills the house with care, respect, and good conversation (all three things I learned from my parents).
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